“We know from daily life that we exist for other people first of all, for whose smiles and well-being our own happiness depends.” – Albert Einstein
Relationships can be tricky, but they don’t have to be. Relationships are as simple as asking yourself this one question “Are you trying to give or are you trying to get?” Unhappiness, for me, usually happens when I am trying to get. And this could apply to any relationship; romantic relationships, friendships, and relationships with family and any human interaction really. Relationships are place where you get to go, to give. Give. In my experience an unhealthy relationship is due to many things, all of which, are motivated by either fear or selfishness; the trying to get. And that’s when relationships get tricky.
Relationships can become tricky because we are human beings. . .
Here is the tricky part about relationships: the behavior in a relationship you usually think is unhealthy say an argument is usually normal and healthy (I mean everyone argues from time to time) and the behavior you think is acceptable (not wanting to disagree) probably is unhealthy. What do I mean exactly? Well check out these 5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship and find out.
P.S. even if you aren’t in a romantic relationship this still applies to you if you ever interact with human beings.
5 Signs you are in an unhealthy relationship #1: The use of verbal or physical “weapons” or weapons
The “weapons” with the quotations are for figurative weapons such as verbal weapons. Verbal weapons usually sound a lot like name calling and cursing when angry, and criticism too; especially during arguments or when one of the two people in a relationship is upset. Weapons, without the quotations are what I mean by literal weapons. Literal weapons mean physical force such as restraining, shoving, punching, slapping etc. If you are being hurt in any way, with words or physically this is a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship.
5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship #2: Clinging
Can you spend any time without each other without worrying about what the other is doing? Or do you have to call every 3 hours? Healthy relationships involve being able to enjoy time spent away from each other. Of course it is important to spend time together but if you don’t spent a few days together it shouldn’t feel like the world is ending. If it does, then it is a sign you are in an unhealthy relationship. This is one of those signs that may seem healthy initially but it is not.
5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship #3: Pressure to have sex
Of course this sign would apply to a romantic relationship of some sort regardless of whether or not it is exclusive. You should never feel pressured to have sex. If your partner is pressuring you to have sex even when you say no, they are not respecting you. And let’s make this clear, anything other than a yes is a NO. Sex is a free choice that grows out of mutual caring, love and respect. Pressure to have sex is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship #4: Trying to change you or them
Your friends, family and significant other may have opinions of what they like about you and vice versa. For instance, your significant other may like when you wear converse over high heels and your friends may like when your hair is long instead of short. Healthy relationships embrace individuality and don’t try to change you into what they think you should be or want you to be. The other person in the relationship and you should love the awesome person you are and you should love the awesome person you know for who they are.
5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship #5: Feeling afraid to disagree
You should feel comfortable voicing your opinion and expressing your thoughts and feelings in your relationship. If you are afraid to do so, think about where that fear is coming from. Maybe you’d rather go see a movie tonight, but your significant other or friend would rather stay in. Can you let them know, or are you afraid of how he might react? Being afraid to disagree is a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
There are many other signs you are in an unhealthy relationship such as obsessiveness, you or the person you are in a relationship with ignores, makes fun of, or dismisses you. There is also lying, blaming, cheating as well as jealousy and possessiveness. Remember many of these behaviors in a relationship are motivated out of selfishness and fear. A healthy relationship happens when you have a healthy relationship with yourself and can transmit that same love into the relationship with someone else without selfish or fearful motives (which will happen sometimes).
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