When it comes time to leave your sober house, how do you know you’re actually ready or better yet if you’re not ready? Transitioning from a halfway house to being on your own can be a huge change and one you should really give a lot of thought to. I’ve come up with 8 signs you’re not ready to move out of your sober house.
1. Your Commitment Isn’t Up Yet
This is very important to consider when it comes to leaving your sober house. If your commitment there isn’t up yet, you probably shouldn’t leave. Being sober today is about being an adult and staying true to your word. If you made an agreement to stay at a sober house for a certain amount of time, you should definitely finish that commitment before leaving.
2. You Aren’t Working a Program
If you are sober but not working a program (aka going to meetings and working the steps) then you also should reconsider your decision to leave your sober living environment. Even though things might seem good now, once you leave your sober house they will go downhill quickly if you aren’t working a program and doing what you need to do to stay sober.
3. You Don’t Have a Sponsor or Supports
This also falls under the category of not working a program but if you don’t have a sponsor by the time you are going to leave halfway, that is a problem. In most cases, it is best to get a sponsor right away so you have someone to give you direction in the program. It’s also not good if you have no supports either, my first two years sober my supports and sponsor helped me tremendously.
4. Your Reason/Motive for Leaving is Negative or Resentment
If you’re just leaving the sober house because you are angry or resentful for some reason, this is a bad reason to leave. When we were in active addiction a lot of us were accustomed to running away from our problems and today we want to change those old behaviors. Deal with your issues head on and get advice from your sober supports beforehand.
5. Your Sponsor Doesn’t Think It’s a Good Idea
If you have a sponsor and you talk to them about moving and they recommend you stay in the halfway house, you should probably listen to them. Something I’ve learned in sobriety is that (in my case) nothing my sponsor has ever suggested is going to hurt me and all of her advice is just to help me. If you value your sponsor’s opinion you should reevaluate your decision to leave halfway.
6. Leaving to Move in With a Significant Other
Trust me, I’ve seen a lot of girls and guys do this and unless they have a good amount of time under their belt, it doesn’t work out so good. Of course, each situation is different and in some cases you could be ready to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend but in a lot of these situations you usually aren’t ready yet.
7. The Sober House Has Too Many Rules
Leaving your sober house because it has too many rules is absolutely not a good reason to leave. If you think the rules they have are too much, then there’s probably a good reason they’re enforcing them on you. I know that I knew I was ready to leave halfway because the rules didn’t bother me anymore; it didn’t matter what the rules were because I was doing the right thing so I was naturally following them all anyways.
8. You’ve Relapsed
Yes, you are typically kicked out of a sober house when you relapse; but that doesn’t mean you can’t come back to the house or live in another one. If you’ve relapsed, then living in a halfway house is exactly what you need for your recovery right now. If you want to achieve sobriety, go to a halfway house and make a commitment there and don’t leave until you’ve finished it and are sober! If you or a loved one are struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll free 1-800-951-6135.