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Crazy News Stories of the Week

A little re-cap of all the crazy news stories of the week; some of these stories honestly make me wonder what this world is coming to!

Drunk Woman Drives Herself to Jail

Not sure whether it was on accident or on purpose, but a Florida drunk driver turned herself in Monday January 20, 2014. 33-year-old Brielle Irene Watkins drove her damaged vehicle (which was missing a tire) onto the property of the Alachua County Jail in Gainesville, Florida. She tested nearly three times the legal limit for alcohol. It is still unknown whether she knew which parking lot she was entering. The legal limit in Florida is .08 and Watkins later scored .222 and .215 on two different Breathalyzers.

Drunken Man puts Taco Bell Emergency on Craigslist

On Tuesday January 21, 2014, a man who was snowed in at his home in Baltimore did one of the few activities that come with a snow day: he decided to get drunk. And like a majority of drunken people, he NEEDED Taco Bell immediately. There is no larger craving than the desire for terribly enjoyable food after periods of drinking. This man was drunk and did the responsible thing and wasn’t going to drive. So, if you’re snowed in and need Taco Bell NOW, what do you do? You post an ad to Craiglist begging for assistance, duh. He posted:

“Guys it’s snowing like a b**** outside, I’ve had a few drinks too many, and my sh–ty little hybrid douchemobile can’t possibly make it to the neighborhood Taco Bell in this weather. I need someone with a 4 wheel drive vehicle to come pick my drunk a** up, take me to the Taco Bell drive-thru, and drive me back home. Then we can hang out and play video games if you’re not a rapist. This is maybe 2 miles round trip. I’ll pay in tacos. or chalupas. whatever. Seriously my desire for tacos right now is totally unmanageable, so I’d probably even buy you a 7 layer burrito if you asked nicely.”

Cop uses Substation as Hot Spot for Sex

This cop is suspected of using a police substation as a love shack. Shaun Whiting (Former Ocoee Officer) who is married has been allegedly using police properties to cover up an illegitimate affair. Whiting took the woman on a department-approved ride along and the two stopped at a substation, where the pair was involved in a sex act while he was on-duty and in uniform, according to the investigation.,0,3170844.story

Woman Arrested on her Way to Burn down Deputy’s House

Apparently, this woman decided she was going to dial up the heat, literally. Barbara Tyson called a Madison County Official and supposedly threatened to burn down the official’s home and the home of a deputy, also. She was taken into custody while she was in the process of trying to find the deputy’s home.,0,1171439.story

Man Makes Deputies Wait While He Smokes a Joint

This man’s policy seems to be to never, ever leave the house without smoking a j first. When Polk County officers arrived at the home of 32-year-old David Scott Shultz, he apparently declined to open the door, expressing to them that he needed to first smoke a joint. And that’s exactly what he did prior to surrendering calmly, according to the report.,0,5969451.story

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