Drug Addicted Lullaby, A Story For You
Ohh, ohh, ohh, drug addiction.
I bet you were thinking I was going to start writing some lullaby lyrics about drug addiction. Drug addiction added to my infliction. Something poetic and rhyming like that. Not quite though.
I dont want to sing for you. I want to tell you a story.
Let me tell you a story about drug addiction. A true story. Which means this was a real moment in time. Incase you were wondering what “true” story means. Its not fabricated, its not made up in my mind, its not fiction. Its fact, its a true story. A true story of drug addiction. I wish it could be as sweet as a lullaby your mom used to sing you to sleep at night, but drug addiction doesnt usually consist of a whole lot of things that give you sweet dreams.
My drug addiction brought me to a place that looked alot like this. Picture a girl of about 21 sitting in a crack house, on dirty bedroom floor in her underwear hoping every next hit would stop her heart. Sweating, twitching, shaking, full of fear, terror and delusion. Picture that same girl with eyes that have no light in them. Picture a girl being asked to leave that place and choosing to stay instead. My drug addiction lied to me, deluded my mind, and almost killed me. My drug addiction came in the form of cocaine and a needle. It came in the form of little rainbow colored bags of dope. It came with the promise of peace and the lie that it would somehow last.
Drug addiction for me was my solution for the longest time and asking me to leave that solution was like asking a mother to leave her child. I know that sounds like an extreme example but it is so true. Terrifyingly true. Drug addiction started off as something so pleasant. It was that perfect puzzle piece that fit with me so I could fit in with the rest of the world. That can only last for so long though when you are in a drug addiction. The puzzle piece starts to become deformed and warped. It doesnt fit anymore.
So you get a chance to step out of your delusion and find another puzzle piece that you already have. It was specially designed for you and you had it all along.
I am grateful for my drug addiction today. It brought me to a place I would describe as hell but it also brought me to the place where I have found a heaven on earth. Drug addiction was my biggest curse and my most beautiful blessing. Drug addiction allowed me to realize that I had been searching for an answer and when I realized my drug abuse was not the answer anymore I searched out another answer. The other answer being a power greater than myself, fellowship, treatment, and a 12-step program. This answer has brought upon me the greatest gifts this life has to offer.
Drug addiction had me in a homeless shelter 9 months ago, it had me on a hospital bed a year and a half ago, it had me at 90 pounds, scarred, scared, and wanting to die. Today, today is different. Today drug addiction has allowed me to persevere, to hang on, to find the willingness to change, to be honest with myself and to connect with a God of my own understanding. Drug addiction has become my past and a magnificent part of my present. It is a gift in my journey on the way to finding the greatest peace. That great peace that I speak of is a wholeness of my being. Its also described in that I want nothing, I dont already have. I can sit in complete contentment with the world around me. I can take a deep breath and not feel surrounded by chaos. I can be Rhea Nicole Rosier an addict and alcoholic and smile about it.
Thats my story for the day. I hope you enjoyed it.
If you or someone you know is suffering the pain of drug addiction dont hesitate to call us at 800-951-6135.