How to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use

How to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use

If you are worried about someone’s alcohol use then you are probably wondering how to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use. If you follow these simple guidelines then you can do what you need to in order to effectively tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use.

I care.

The first suggestion on how to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use is to stay in the mind of how much you care for them. The most legitimate reason to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use is usually in response to your own internal feeling. That means if you “feel” the need to say something to someone you’re concerned about then you should do so. If you are looking to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohols use then you know avoiding the issue will just lead to more anxiety.

You don’t need to wait until the person you’re concerned about has a full blowing drinking problem to address the issue.

I see, I feel.

When you tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use make sure that you are simple, specific, and concrete. Try to identify three instances, make them specific, that clearly demonstrate the problem with their drinking and that have you concerned about their alcohol use.

Say how you felt to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use. Whether it was angry, frustrated, hurt, embarrassed, or scared just make sure you refer back to the emotions not that you are talking from them. If you want to tell someone you’re concerned about them make sure the focus stays on the person being confronted and that the tone remains calm and caring.

Say what you saw during your three specific instances that you have concerned about their alcohol use. Say what was said, what was done where it occurred, when it occurred and who else was there. Make it clear how, in your mind that their alcohol use played a role in those instances.

Do not under any circumstances; try to diagnose someone if you’re concerned about their alcohol use. It can break the connection you have with someone you’re concerned about. Keep your observations that you concerned about their alcohol use on a level of “drinking seems to be…” not “your drinking is a problem.”

If someone you’re concerned about denies that their alcohol use is causing problems, then cite the problems in a way that is not accusatory but explanatory.

I expect, I hope

If you tell someone you are concerned about their alcohol use and they give a response that is ok it is helpful to suggest solutions for the person you are talking to. For instance, say “I may be wrong but I think it could be a good idea to see a counselor.” Or “I think it is important for you find what is right for you to help overcome this; I hope you will seek help.”

Setting expectations for the person you are concerned about can also be done at this point. This is within the house, relationship and situation. If you set bottom lines you have to uphold them. If you give ultimatums and don’t stick with them this only tells the person who may have a problem with alcohol that it’s ok to drink even if it makes you mad and nothing will ever really change.

If you want to tell someone you’re concerned about their alcohol use just make sure you do it from a place of love. Maybe they are willing to seek help, if that is so do everything you can to help them. IF they aren’t ready to find help then you need to set expectations and things in place for yourself to keep you ok.

If you or someone you know needs alcohol abuse treatment give us a call 24/7 at 800-951-6135.