Alcoholism In An Alcoholics Mind, Alcoholism In A Person’s Soul
To have the disease of alcoholism means quite a few different things not only just the definition which the dictionary gives us or the doctors explain to us. Coming from an alcoholic such as myself, alcoholism is more than just an addiction to the consumption of alcohol; it’s a state of mind and a state of being.
Alcoholism when we think of it usually creates that thought cloud above our heads filled with pictures of older men, drinking beer, overweight or the image of the woman drinking vodka straight of the bottle, mascara running down her face, crying, until she passes out on her kitchen floor. It may also bring up the pictures of someone pouring a couple shots of liquor into their morning cup of coffee, shaking so bad they can hardly hold it. While all these generalized stereotypes are correct there is something going on beyond the physical picture we can see in our heads. Something beneath the surface that isn’t quite as apparent; happens to someone with alcoholism.
As an alcoholic myself, I have to say that my definition of alcoholism has little or nothing to do with the amount I was consuming, or what kind of alcohol I was ingesting. It has so much more to do with the reason I was drinking and what drove me to drink. It was also my ability to stop once I started, which I will just go ahead and say was near impossible. I would drink essentially because I liked the effects it produced, and the effects it produced for me are much different than in someone who is not an alcoholic.
Alcohol was the solution to my problem and my problem was everything and everyone including myself. So if alcohol was the solution to my problem, you can only imagine why I would draw from it every chance I got. The effect produced when I was drinking was not just that of being drunk but a seemingly counterfeit feeling that everything was right in the world, that the problems of what was “out there” were no longer problems anymore. This is what makes me an alcoholic. This is what differentiates me from most drinkers. Take alcohol away from the person with alcoholism and they will still have a mess of a life. That is why treatment, a 12-step program or some kind of other solution is needed once the alcoholic decides they want to stop drinking.
As someone begins the journey towards recovery from alcoholism they are usually full of fear. I know I was. When I made the decision to get clean, I was terrified knowing I was going to have to give up the one thing that had always worked to make me feel “ok”. I was leaving behind the one thing that made a cannon ball sized hole in my chest not ache so much anymore.
Luckily starting this process, if an alcoholic is serious about it, they can and will achieve long term recovery. You will also see some of the most amazing acts of determination, perseverance, courage and faith you have ever seen in your lifetime. I have to say in regards to the severity of this disease, alcoholism is progressive and fatal, but that’s what makes me and lots of other people with this disease walking miracles. I believe that. When coming out on the other side of drinking, we are filled with all the strength and determination it has taken to get where we are, along with a new way of thinking, a new way of living, and new way of experiencing life.
This alcoholic writing right now feels blessed to have this disease which allowed me to find such a wonderful new solution. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t always feel like this about my alcoholism but I have found that things happen for a reason. The world spins exactly as it should, there is a plan that is bigger than me and I have faith in it. Every person should have faith in it, alcoholic or not.
The ability to recover is there and not just that, the ability to have a life beyond your wildest dreams is one leap of faith away. You just have to make a decision to jump head first into the stream of life and watch what happens. When you put down the drink and decide to make a change, you are allowing a miracle to bloom, blossom, develop, and grow. Let it happen.
If you or someone you know wants to recover
Please Call: 877-711-HOPE (4763) or go to www.palmpartners.com