Ego can be a destructive thing. If you let it get away from you, it can run amok with your program of recovery and your life, in general. Here are 10 signs your ego is out of control. If you can identify with anything on this list, my suggestion to you is this: you better check yourself before you wreck yourself.
#1. You’re restless, irritable, and discontent
As the literature says, you’re feeling “restless, irritable, and discontent.” You’ve probably started slacking on some aspect of your program – usually prayer and/or meditation – and it shows. Maybe not outwardly at first but, inside, you’re definitely feeling the inner-stirrings of being “off your game.” This is a clear sign that your ego is taking hold of the reigns again.
#2. You start sponsoring your sponsor
Not only are you not open to your sponsor’s suggestions but, you start telling your sponsor what to do. This is kind of taboo. Your ego is all kinds of out-of-check as you refuse to listen to what they say and turn around and lecture them about what you think they should be doing.
#3. You find fault with everyone else’s program and are unwilling to look at your own
Just like with your sponsor, you are finding fault with everyone around you but are conveniently overlooking your own shortcomings. You begin to feel annoyed and even angry when all you seem to notice is how people are “doing it wrong” and this starts to take its toll on your mood and overall wellbeing.
#4. You’re unwilling to clean your side of the street
You might be wrong about something or maybe you have wronged someone in some way but you refuse to admit it. Or you might make mention of it but in a passive aggressive way or use sarcasm. This isn’t a good look, on anyone. Just so you know.
#5. You make everything about you and “forget” to ask how others are doing
Your ego is out of control when you begin to think and act as if the world revolves around you and you, alone.
#6. You’re careless with other people’s feelings
Nobody else matters and no one’s feelings are legit, only yours. A sure-fire sign your ego is wreaking havoc if ever there was one.
#7. You’re defensive, in general
Lately, everything seems like a personal attack. Everything everyone says to you is in some way a dig at how you look, what you’re doing, or at something you said. Ego check: you’re being overly defensive and sensitive. Maybe even a bit paranoid.
#8. You blame others when things don’t go your way
If your go-to is “victim mode” rather than being accountable for your actions and experiences, then your ego is for-sure swinging out of control. It may seem easier to blame everyone else than taking a look at yourself but, this certainly leads to general feelings of irritability and unhappiness.
#9. You boast your program knowledge
You certainly can talk a big game. And maybe your actions are in line with the program you espouse but, there’s a saying: we must remain teachable. If your ego is out of control, it’ll show up as you being a know-it-all and on some level, unwilling to learn anything new – no matter how well you can recite the literature.
#10. You refuse to help others or only help people when it serves you in some way
It’s said that this is a “‘we’ program, not a ‘me’ program.” If you’re not helping others or you only help someone because you are personally gaining something out of it (other than the gift of sobriety, of course) then it’s time to check that ego and practice humility.
If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free 1-800-951-6135.