When I think back on my drinking and how I acted when I was intoxicated, there are definitely more than a handful of times I wish I had behaved differently. I’m sure the same is true for any alcoholic or addict. I’ve thought of the 10 types of drunks we all regret being.
These are the 10 Types of Drunks we all Regret Being…
1. The angry drunk who is trying to fight everyone
It’s time to misinterpret everything you see/hear as an individual attack until you’re basically trying to slap everyone within a 10-foot range in the face for looking at you the wrong way. It doesn’t matter what they really said. It doesn’t matter if it’s not worth quarrelling over. It doesn’t matter if they could obviously take you in a fair fight. What matters is that someone disrespected your honor, or the honor of your families, and you have to protect it. Basically you try to fight everyone for no reason, and usually end up injured – bad news for you and others.
2. The overly affectionate drunk who wants to be lovey-dovey with everyone and everything
The drunk that decides it is the time to tell everyone how much they care about them and love them. Really missing that ex-boyfriend of yours? Why not call him?! Nothing is stopping you from professing your love to him via text or a drunk phone call. It’s also been awhile since you’ve talked to that cousin of yours or your parents – let’s wake them up and remind them just how much we care. People are usually used to this type of drunk and just ignore what they’re saying because by morning – they will be so regretful they said it.
3. The emotional drunk who is crying over everything and talking to everyone about it
There is just so much emotion in the world right now and it’s all being jam-packed, like some hypothetical chimney, through your tear ducts. Your friend is so beautiful it makes you want to cry. This music is so good and is cutting through your heart like a knife through a sequence of vegetables — time to weep soundlessly as you rock back and forth with your eyes shut. Someone said something harmless that you misunderstood as an insult? Why not sob in their general direction in between outbreaks of shouting your feelings aloud – sounds like a party, or not. Never fun crying all-night-long.
4. The know-it-all drunk who wants to argue about being right
This is the drunk that will fight with you the entire night on a variety of topics and always is convinced that they are right and you are wrong. I consider this drunk to be very obnoxious and annoying to have to deal with. They will spend all their time finding ways to prove you wrong and show you how much they know and talk about all of their knowledge on the subject. The type of drunk I would have walked away from very quickly.
5. The sleepy drunk who will fall asleep wherever they can
This is the drunk who literally falls asleep everywhere. Whether it’s in a bar, a bathroom or the car – they’ve decided its sleepy time the second they get the chance to drift off. Usually they end up passed out in positions that look super uncomfortable and their friends tend to get upset with them for sleeping everywhere they go. This type of drunk just needs to go home, seriously.
6. The sloppy drunk who is spilling and breaking things and needs caretaking
This type of drunk should have their night be over the second they turn sloppy, but usually doesn’t and continues on. You’re swaying around and uniting every negative quality of the Drunk Characters you could conceivably be. You lost articles of your clothing, are now broke, you’re starving, crying and yelling at people you don’t even know – I’d say it’s time to go home. It doesn’t matter how many times you claim that you’re flawlessly fine, we all know you’re not even near to being okay. We all had instants like this, never a fun situation.
7. The inappropriate drunk who gets handsy with people
The inappropriate drunk has a thing for getting super close to complete strangers and very touchy-feely. They decide that they are in the mood to get super close to people and in their face and that’s exactly what they are doing. You want to kiss everyone – friends, strangers, enemies, whoever. The inappropriate drunk has but one duty in life, and it’s to make their friends and others feel very uncomfortable. This type of drunk is just ew.
8. The black-out drunk who doesn’t remember anything the next day
This is the drunk who never remembers anything the next day and will ask you to tell them exactly what happened. Most of the time, if you’re this drunk then you don’t want to know what happened because chances are – people are upset with you. You may have crashed your car, broken your phone or even woke up in jail; and you don’t remember any of it. Another type of drunk that I absolutely hated being.
9. The reckless drunk who decides they are basically a super hero and invincible once they drink
Oh dear, the reckless drunk. The person who has a couple shots of alcohol and decides he is a super hero and can do anything in the world. Odds are he’ll be drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol, doing really idiotic things to impress others or deciding to do something so dumb that it makes your heart drop into your stomach at the actual thought of it. This person is the type of drunk everyone was scared to drink with and overall not the drunk you wanted to be – especially the next day after drinking.
10. The disappearing drunk who no one can find once they’ve consumed alcohol
This is the drunk that totally disappears and nobody can find once you’ve started drinking. Not only can you not find them, but they have also lost all of their belongings, as well. One minute they’re socializing with you and having a good time and the next – nowhere to be found. I’ve found that, seeing as I was once this type of drunk, when I was missing – it was never for a good reason and usually ended badly. Not a good idea to separate from others and get lost when you are totally wasted.
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