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The latest edition of Crazy News Stories of the Week. Can’t make this stuff up!

Crazy News Stories of the Week

#1. Bumbling Burglars

A couple who had just burgled a house and vehicle were busted when their getaway car got stuck in the mud.

The couple was trying to turn around the driveway of a home they had just robbed and got stuck in a ditch.

A neighbor saw the vehicle with one wheel hanging off the driveway and also spotted some property in the woods covered with palm fronds and called 9-1-1.

Police called to the scene found Sara Lightfoot, 27, and her boyfriend, Steve Madan, 28, with stolen goods and consequently arrested them. Madan was charged with two counts of burglary and grand theft and Lightfoot with two counts of being a principal to burglary, grand theft and possession of cocaine.

Both Lightfoot and Madan were being held in the Volusia County Branch Jail, on $25,000 bail each.


Crazy News Stories of the Week

#2. Skeevy Bartender Still Being Slimy, this time with the law

Jeffery Roberson, bar owner was caught on video reaching into his pocket and pouring something into the drink of a 28-year-old woman as they were doing shots together after-hours. His deeds came to light when the woman, feeling sick afterwards, went to the hospital where she did a blood test. The medical tests showed that she had ingested an amphetamine.

She told police that her shots “tasted odd,” and that she saw small “black dots” in her glass but thought they were dust or ash.

He was arrested back in August for the felony offense tampering with the woman’s drink, which could send him to prison for 30 years.

Roberson is in the news this week because of his legal tactics. Roberson’s attorney will try to clear his client – not by challenging the evidence against him but by asking the judge to declare Florida’s food tampering statute unconstitutional.


Crazy News Stories of the Week

#3 Grown Man Bullies School Children

Eric Daniel Dukes was arrested on charges of having a weapon on school property, a serious offense, to say the least.

The 21-year-old was arrested after he tried to scare a group of school children on school property by carrying a pellet gun and “play” handcuffs and interrogating them about his stolen bike.

Dukes initially told police about his missing bike and said he was looking for it. The school kids told the real officials that Dukes introduced himself as an undercover police officer and that they were not allowed to lie to him.

Police said that Dukes also admitted to carrying the gun on his hip in order to scare the children.

He claimed that he had a license to carry a gun, but the permit was never found, police said.

Dukes was then arrested and taken to the Volusia County Jail.


Crazy News Stories of the Week

#4 Brown Baggin’ It

Clayton Schwey, 38, tried to enter a drug store with a brown paper bag over his head.

An employee told a deputy that “This was scaring customers and they told her that they thought she was about to be robbed,” the affidavit states.

“He did remove the bag from his head and re-enter the store and cussed at the complainant and stated that this was a free country,” the affidavit states.

When cops arrived, Schwey was sitting on the sidewalk with the brown paper bag next to him.

In the “occupation or employer” field of Schwey’s arrest affidavit, he had written “FBI, DEA and CIA.”

Schwey, who is listed as homeless (and most likely mentally ill) was arrested on charges including wearing mask, hood, or other device on property of another and trespassing.


Crazy News Stories of the Week

#5 Drunk Thief Makes Cops’ Job That Much Easier

Deputies responding to a call at a convenience store realized they were already on-scene when an apparently drunk Tampa man exited the convenience store outside of which they were parked, trying to get away with stolen beer.

The deputies were standing outside the front entrance of the Citgo Quick Mart when Emmanuel Camper, 28, walked out the front door without paying for his beer.

As he exited the front door, the clerk yelled, “He’s stealing beer,” the deputies said.

Camper, who deputies say was already intoxicated, didn’t see the deputies, who then arrested him and escorted him to jail.

Camper faces one count of petit theft. He remains jailed on $250 bond.

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