By Cheryl Steinberg
The New Year is all about making resolutions that will improve your life in the coming year, with the intention of establishing healthy habits for years to come. That’s what life is about: growth, change, bettering yourself, and creating your own source(s) of happiness.
That said, this is the perfect time to identify and establish which of your relationships are healthy and which ones are not healthy. It’s time to stop putting up with the stress and strife that comes from dealing with certain individuals. Here are 8 types of toxic people to ditch in the New Year.
#1. People who make your life more stressful
A good rule of thumb is this: being stressed by situations is normal; being stressed by people is unhealthy. If you have people in your life who manage to stress you out on a regular basis, that’s your mind telling you – and motivating you — to cut them out of your life.
#2. People who use you
First of all, everyone uses everyone and that can be OK. We use one another for company, support, and so on. That’s normal in relationships. This type of ‘using’ either maintains or improves our wellbeing.
But then you have the parasitic friend, you know the one – who uses you, sucking you dry and feeding off your energy until you have none left. This kind of toxic person needs to be left behind in 2014.
#3. People who don’t respect you
Another good rule of thumb: Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you. If there are people in your life who have don’t give you the respect you give them, remember that the best way to respect yourself is to get rid of them.
#4. People who always seem to hurt you
Sometimes we hold onto friendships for too long. Perhaps this is someone you’ve been friends with since you were in elementary school. But, if it’s dawned on you that this friend or friends end up hurting you more often than helping you, it’s time to let go.
Pain is only good if you learn a lesson from it. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to hurt and use you.
#5. People who lie to you
Everyone lies and most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the same people you trust. Only allow trustworthy people to be close to you and you’ll be better off for it.
#6. People who talk sh!t behind your back
Backstabbers. These people are the absolute worst. They are cowards that don’t have the courage to speak their minds and their truth. These toxic people actually enjoy pretending to be your friend while talking mad sh!t behind your back.
These people are your “pseudo friends” — a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help they’re nowhere to be found.
This type of toxic person is especially harmful because they give you the a false sense of security; that you can trust them.
#7. People who drag you back into your old lifestyle/hold you back in life
You’ve heard it plenty of times: change people, places, and things. There’s a reason for that. Even if you’ve changed those things when you decided to get clean and sober, it’s good from time to time to reevaluate the people you’ve let into your inner circle.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, which can lead to your current relationships growing stale. If your goals aren’t aligned, your lives aren’t either.
#8. People who just take up space
It’s important to be very careful and choosy with the kinds of people you let in. You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time — you just don’t have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more.
If someone isn’t adding to your life, then they’re taking away from it.
Ditch these space-hogs in the New Year and start fresh.
Setting healthy boundaries and maintaining them can be a difficult practice to learn. People with a history of substance abuse and/or addiction also tend to also struggle with codependency. If you have one or a combination of all three of these, or you know someone who does, help is available. Please call toll-free 1-800-951-6135 to speak with an Addiction Specialist today.